the ballon is deflated


“He insulted me, he cheated me, he beat me, he robbed me – those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.”
The Buddha


Resentment is nothing more than compulsive attachment to a set of memories. If you could peek through the window of the mind when you feel resentful, you would see a production line turning out the same emotion-charged memory over and over: “He did that to me in 1993, he did that to me in 1993 . . .” You are dwelling on something that took place in the past – or, more likely, on how you misunderstood that event and reacted to your misunderstanding. When you keep pumping attention into an event in this way, a limp little memory gets blown up into a big balloon of hostility. When you withdraw your attention by repeating the mantram, the balloon is deflated. It’s as simple as that.

~ Eknath Easwaran

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  1. If someone has grievously hurt you, do not sweep this under the rug, do not tell yourself to turn the other cheek or love and forgive this person, but deal with the problem, lest it leave a lasting emotional scab that you constantly pick at and reopen over and over. Confront this person directly, enter psychological therapy, learn the lesson the experience can teach so you don’t repeat it, constantly finding yourself in the same bully-victim dynamic.

    Life produces emotional scars which can be worn proudly. It’s the scabs we don’t want.

    • I agree Patty – this is the message of this post. This is the message of TRUE spirituality. Face head on our adversaries in a controlled responsive way and not in a reactive way (respond vs react). The message of The Buddha is all about DOING, about ACTION, but always from a point of detachment. Like a first-aid responder; not engrossed emotionally so they can’t deal effectively with the situation at hand. This is why TRUE spirituality is nothing more than pure unadulterated pragmatism.


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