My God


That’s it – had enough of all this nonsense. No more! I’ve decided the only way I can take on this JWO is to set up another religion.

Well when I say religion, it’ll be more along the lines of a cult type worship. The Ron Hubbard’s type experience, mixed in with a dash of Raëlism.


I’m also going to set up a new God too. Not any ol God, but MY God. And my God do we need a new God round here. No offense God and all that mate, but your plan and management skills are just not working.


Nuf respect for building the planet in seven days, for sorting out the sunshine and moon, and looking after gravity; but you just can’t seem to get those annoying joos into line. Nope, sorry and all that, but it’s time we put you into early retirement and we reshuffled the cabinet a bit.


Yep, a new religion, a new God – that’ll do it. That’ll fix things.


So I propose our (my) new God be called EOCI. Energetic Omnipresent Conscious Intelligence. The all mighty EOCI to get out there and kick ass.


Of course I’ll have to start up a congregation which I’ll call a temple. The Temple of Energetic Omnipresent Conscious Intelligence. Nice ring to it.


I’ve designed some funky robes: in baby blue/turquoise, with mauve banding and strips. Got a great a idea for a motive/logo of rays of conscious light pulsing out over the globe. And I’m just knocking up a set of doctrines which I should collect from the printers on Wednesday.


Of course this will all go under the guise of innocent harmless meditation to get people hooked. Then once I’ve got them nice n comfortable and their identities are firmly established, I’ll begin to sneak in a pinch of dogma here n there ‘till I accomplish my grand plan of usurping all the other religions and major powers in the world. Job done. The world fixed.


Ohhh yes, I can just see it now.


Millions upon millions of devotees all subserviently attending  my global network of temples – all mesmerized by the presence of my God EOCI.


Thought about a slogan along the lines of:

In EOCI we trust; the Light, the solution.


Of course with all religions there will have to be a set of rules – after all you gotta have discipline. Of course I’ll package these as spiritual disciplenes/guidelines – but they will be enforced!


These should be a good start

1/.  All devotees shall worship the all-mighty EOCI and no other God. None of that multi-faith business. Despite giving the appearance of being relaxed about faiths and cults (competition). We shall stick to our own. All ECOIies should be particularly cautious of those pesky die-hard religions such as Christianity, Islam and Hinduism.



2/. One’s whole identity should be entrenched in EOCIism. Special EOCI talk, EOCI diet, EOCI scriptures, EOCI image attire (robes), mannerisms and outlook. I AM an EOCIian. A true EOCIian would be expected at all times to have a completely separatist mindset.



3/. All devotees will of course we expected to contribute towards the EOCI temple networks. Precious metals, gifts, heirlooms, property and EOCI-based currency, etc.



4/. All EOCIarians will be expected to commit their lives to EOCIism. In labour, worship, annual pilgrimage to the main temple here in little Britain, as well as working in full support and defense of the EOCI global foundation.



5/. EOCI voucher payment schemes will be issued to all members once they have submitted sufficient labour and devotee time. With regular attendance at the meditation temples and mind seminars.



6/. There will be a hierarchal structure, where although we say we are all equal and the same, there will be in fact better higher EOCIians than others. One will reach a higher status depending on one’s devotion to the EOCI foundation (and contributions), even though on the surface it will seam these higher people have more devotion to EOCI.


These special masters will of course wear a different type of robes adorned in jewels and opulent surroundings. And because of their levels of devotion, they will live a more labour-free embellished existence. But the devotees will understand this, because they will know they are better people and more spiritual advanced.



7/. Ohh and that somehow Digger has a direct connection with this new EOCI God so as he can distribute exactly how God wants to run the show.


For further information and to make much-needed contributions to the EOCI foundation, please contact Digger


In EOCI we trust; the Light, the solution.




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