Pig Payout


A 25-year-old Jewish girl tells her Mother that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting and crying, the mother says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!!!”

Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Mercedes stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and wearing a yarmulke steps out of the car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them,             “Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can’t marry her because of my personal family situation but I’ll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in South Beach and a $1,000,0000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a $25,000,000 bank account.

However, if there is a miscarriage, I’m not sure what to do. What do you suggest?”

All silent at this point, the mother placed a hand firmly on the man’s shoulder and tells him, “So, you’ll try again.”

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  1. SazzyLilSmartAzz

     /  May 30, 2012

    LOL! Jews are so greedy they would allow a married man to degrade their daughter for financial gain. Typical jewish behavior!!! Thanks for the laugh, Digger. I needed that:-)

    • Good – we gotta try and have a chuckle every now and then, just to keep our sanity and try and fend off depression in these times.

      Thanks again Saz


  2. Matthew/Boston

     /  May 30, 2012

    Sounds just like something off of the ‘When You’re In Love The Whole World Is Jewish’ (Lou Jacobi) comedy album my parents listened to in the ’60’s.

  3. Ingrid B

     /  May 30, 2012

    says it all..

  4. equalizer

     /  May 31, 2012

    Indeed! Thanks for the laugh…..most appreciated.

    • eq, Thanks. We have to a breather from all this, to re-charge our strength and re-focus. Humour used appropriately can be a useful tool.

      Thanks for contributing.


  1. Pig Payout « The Ugly Truth

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